Gowron for President
“My opponents say I lack the temperament to be president. I have held together a High Council full of armed men who believe they should have my job. I am prepared for your Presidency.”
The platform
Where Gowron stands, in plain language warriors can understand.
The economy
If you work for the prosperity of the Empire, you should share in its wealth. Build housing, repair infrastructure, and stop rewarding companies for laying off the people who make their products.
“Your ancestors did not survive famine, war, and the invention of the open-plan office so that you could have three roommates at forty.”
Healthcare
Doctors will determine treatment. Insurance companies will not demand that patients first defeat a lesser medication in honorable combat.
Dental and mental healthcare are healthcare. Prior authorization forms will be displayed in a museum of instruments of torture.
“There is no honor in dying because a man with a spreadsheet said your medicine was unnecessary.”
Labor
Protect collective bargaining, enforce workplace safety, and punish wage theft.
“A captain who steals his crew's pay should not be surprised when the crew develops an interest in succession.”
Veterans
Fund veterans' healthcare, housing, disability benefits, and the staff needed to process claims promptly.
“You found their records quickly enough when you wished to send them to war.”
Corruption
Ban congressional stock trading. Require disclosure of major political donors and meaningful consequences for bribery.
Gowron will personally appoint an independent ethics council.
Questions about the council's independence will be referred to the council.
Unethical behavior will be punished by trial by combat.
Infrastructure
Repair water systems, strengthen the electrical grid, and build reliable public transportation.
Every project must publish its budget and progress. Contractors who repeatedly fail will lose their contracts, even if their ancestors once saved the chancellor's life.
Certain ancestral obligations remain under legal review.
Foreign policy
Honor alliances. Negotiate with adversaries. Maintain a capable defense without treating every dispute as a reason to invade somewhere.
“A leader who cannot distinguish an insult from an invasion will soon run out of ships.”
Education and science
Fund public schools, vocational training, libraries, and scientific research. Teachers should not need a second job to supply their classrooms.
The Department of Education will investigate why so many school board meetings last longer than a Klingon opera and accomplish less.
Government
Members of Congress must attend, vote, and publicly explain what they voted for.
All bills must be written in plain language warriors can understand.
The filibuster will be replaced by a requirement to continue speaking while participating in honorable combat!
Campaign promise
“I will accept the results of a free and fair election. I will be extremely unpleasant about it if I lose.”
On presidential eligibility: “The campaign's legal counsel has advised me to stop answering questions about my birthplace.”
Live with honor
Honor is not something you declare once and forget. It is a daily practice: keeping your word, owning your mistakes, and treating others the way you would want to be treated, including when no one is watching and a vote is on the line.
It also takes a body and mind in fighting shape. Eat real meals, and eat them with people you respect. Move every day. Sleep like a warrior who expects to wake up and win. A leader running on caffeine and bad vending machine snacks makes bad decisions, and so does a nation.
Maintain the mind as carefully as the body. Read widely, ask hard questions, and learn from those who disagree with you. When the weight gets heavy, talk to someone. Seeking help is not weakness; it is strategy. This is why dental and mental healthcare are on the platform.
“A well-fed warrior thinks clearly. A well-rested one rarely starts a war over a parking space.”